Not Finished
As I lay in the hospital bed staring at the ceiling I thought of the aftermath of today. It was just supposed to be a fun day at the zoo with my students but instead me and four of my students ended up in the hospital and two in the morgue. I had planned it to be a fun field trip, but instead it ended up deadly when someone decided that a group of twenty five students looked like a good target. I start thinking about what I could have done to change it but deep down, in that part of me that has been hurt before, I know I shouldn't think about it. If I think about it too much I'll drive myself to spiral but without anything else to do, I think about what I could have done differently.
About an hour later my sister shows up. My sister, Sadie, and I have never really been close , and it got worse after our parents’ death. I sometimes think she blames me for their death and I guess I do too. I sometimes wonder if quitting my job, moving back to Kenyon, Minnesota, and helping my parents would have kept them around longer. Logically I know that they were declining at a rate that was irreversible but sometimes when I'm in a mood and drinking rose it makes me feel less guilty for drinking even though I know I shouldn't drink, especially not on school nights.
My sister stays in my hospital room for about three hours, though I know it's more out of obligation than out of concern. She's currently sitting in a hospital folding chair scrolling through her phone.
“You know, it's getting late,” Sadie mutters, not looking up from her phone.
“Your point?” I know I'm being a bit bitchy but I couldn't care less. I've just had the worst day of my teaching career and I've been laying in this hospital bed for the past seven hours, not being able to eat or do anything really.
“My point is I can't stay here doing nothing forever, I have to go home and take care of my husband and kids but I guess you wouldn't understand that now would you?”
I almost snap at her but I know thats what she wants so I say nothing as she gets up and walks to the door before turning to say “get better soon, *sister*” she says sister with such venom that it makes me clench my jaw and fists.
2 (Lark)
Chapter 1
I'm back home watching the news, eating mint chip ice cream from the container. It's sad really, a twenty three year old at home on a friday afternoon eating ice cream from the pint and drinking cheap rose from the bottle because I couldn't be bothered to get a glass when I got back from the store. Honestly it's not like I'm sharing this wine with anyone else so why would I dirty another dish when I could just use the bottle it comes in?
As I watch the latest episode of Bridgeton a text comes from my phone. Pausing the tv I sat up and set the ice cream and wine on the oak coffee table. Sighing, I grab my phone, already knowing who it is, i dont bother opening the message but instead sweeping over the first little bit of the message.
“Miss Larkspur, regarding the past week we are temporarily…” reading the bit of message i can without actually opening the message. I don't want to open the message because then my bosses ,the school board, will know I read it and they will expect a message back and right now i dont want to deal with that headache.
Tossing my phone back on the coffee table I lay back down on the sofa and take a big gulp of wine before pressing play to resume my binge of Brighton and eat my ice cream. [a]
It must be almost midnight when I wake up, I didn't even realize I fell asleep. Getting up I sigh and stretch before grabbing the three-fourths empty wine bottle and empty ice cream pint. Padding to the kitchen I put the rest of the wine in the fridge, and like the psychopath I am, I don't cover it. Who cares anyway? It's just a fourth of wine, uncovered in my fridge. I'll probably drink the rest later. Yawning and stretching I walk into my bedroom and start stripping off my clothes to get ready to crawl into bed. I've always had a thing with dirty clothes in bed, whether it's my work clothes or just clothes i've worn around my apartment, it's always bothered me.
Once in bed in shorts and a loose tank-top, designated specifically for being in bed, I lay on my back and stare at the ceiling before closing my eyes and taking a breath before opening my eyes and grabbing my phone off the night stand. I still haven't opened the text from the school board, and I don't plan to until tomorrow. I open tiktok and tap on the *following* tab and scroll through the videos.
Around one thirty I decide I need sleep so I roll onto my side and plug in my phone and set it on my night stand. Rolling onto my back I close my eyes hoping I fall asleep quickly. Unfortunately that does not end up happening so I toss and turn all night, or at least until three thirty when I got up to use the bathroom.
2 (lark)
Chapter 2
Being put on administrative leave for a month is one of the worst things I have ever experienced, so when I finally step back into my classroom it's like a breath of fresh air and the worst hangover ever. Walking to my desk I set my bag and water bottle down on the floor before sighing and grabbing the stack of papers that the substitute left for me. While I eat a chocolate chip granola bar I read the substitute notes and look at my teacher log book on my computer. As the first bell rings I hear the kids out in the hallway before I see the first couple students trickle in.
Once the last of my students has sat down i start the first lesson of that day “good morning class”
Collectively all my students say “good morning miss larkspur”
To my surprise they are more energetic than I had anticipated. Not believing in going over the substitutes notes with them, I started with English. [b]
By the time I've graded all the papers and set out tomorrow's work books its almost four thirty. Walking out to the parking lot feels like a mile hike even though it's only a few yards. Once in my car I finally take a breath and relax slightly. I love teaching, don't get me wrong, but sometimes it's tiring.
I back out of my parking spot and start driving back to my apartment. Driving home is muscle memory by this point so as i drive i think about summer break. There's only two months left of the school year, and I want to go somewhere for vacation.
Once back at my apartment I made a quick dinner consisting of pasta, a salad, and wine. While I eat I scroll through tiktok, laughing ever so often at a funny video. Its not long after i finnish dinner my phone rings with an incoming call from “*Raven*”. Ravan and i became best friends in freshman year of collage, she was studying psychology and i was studying child education. We were roomed together and ever since then weve been best friends
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